Untitled - by Dr Maroon
After the rains come fresh breezes,clearing out the heavy air and refreshing the spirit.
Thank you Dr Maroon for crafting this exquisite piece. Not only does it have a special meaning for me, but, as our friend Miss Redhead pointed out, most aptly, anyone who has survived the bad times, will appreciate these sentiments.
Carefree, a child among the rock pools,
Paddling, in the warm sandy ripples
Inviting water warm,
Calm with fishes
Strong over-arm strokes take him out a bit
The water’s colder here
Not quite so pleasant
A bit of cramp
No panic yet
Although there’s a current now
Bit more effort
Still in control
Bit of a swell
The sea’s gone grey
Full power now
The smallest tug of panic
Just as suddenly
Feet back on the sand
Wading ashore into the sunlight
Warm and dry
But turn and look
This is not his shore
The Rubicon has been crossed.
Dr AHK Maroon
Thank you Dr Maroon for crafting this exquisite piece. Not only does it have a special meaning for me, but, as our friend Miss Redhead pointed out, most aptly, anyone who has survived the bad times, will appreciate these sentiments.
Carefree, a child among the rock pools,
Paddling, in the warm sandy ripples
Inviting water warm,
Calm with fishes
Strong over-arm strokes take him out a bit
The water’s colder here
Not quite so pleasant
A bit of cramp
No panic yet
Although there’s a current now
Bit more effort
Still in control
Bit of a swell
The sea’s gone grey
Full power now
The smallest tug of panic
Just as suddenly
Feet back on the sand
Wading ashore into the sunlight
Warm and dry
But turn and look
This is not his shore
The Rubicon has been crossed.
Dr AHK Maroon
posted by Olivia Harris | 3:58 AM
5 Comments:
Not bad, except for the sea-swell on the Rubicon and the lack of poetic subjects. For example, rude swains are poetic. If you could work a rude swain in there somewhere I think that would perk it up a bit. Or maybe a sylph or a caryatid. Best of all, a sylph and a caryatid, getting it on. Maybe a rude swain who turns out to be Charon — a double-threat, you see, poetically speaking — rows the the sylph and the caryatid across the Rubicon, pursued by a fox with a cup of tea, a sandwich, and a cigarette balanced on his head, and the chicks are all over each other the whole time.
wowza jim.. garsh.. your uhhh.. poetic prowess is so...vast...
please, enlighten us all with your own fair words of eminent distinction and largess.
doc M, as I said before, this is a lovely poem, I quite like it, its simplicity draws a very gracious picture.
Dr. Maroon, your work reminds me of that other famous Rubicon, the Rubicon of Omar Khayyam.
Aaah. Now you're talking. He was great. Especially as Prince Hassan in Ashanti.
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