Hole Maker

This poem is pretty raw - but extremely moving. Thank you Miss Redhead for this glimpse into your anguish.

~ Hole Maker ~
An aching heart,
empty of life
void of feeling ~

small glimmers of light,
but they aren't meant for me
no, not for me.


~ Only happy people allowed
even if the grin is pasted on
glued in place


~ What happens when the grin is gone?
what will I do without it?
I can't find it anywhere.

~ Once again, he lashes out
all faults are mine
why? How can he manipulate me like that?

~ Something is wrong
I never should have given him my heart
So in reality, the fault IS mine

~ Like a sinking ship, with only a bucket to slog away the deathly waters
anchored into an existance with no escape
you can't run away, you can't mend the holes

~ afterall, how do you mend holes that you don't make?
the patches never fit
the holes are still there

~ he sees the holes
pretends they aren't there
tells me I'm crazy, there aren't any holes.

~ then he picks up the bludgeoning words
and makes a few more,
points at them

~ Look, you made another hole
What's wrong with you?
he says


~ you'll ruin us all,
making holes like that,
better grab that bucket, try to bail us all out


~Hole Maker~

~unreliable~

~can't depend on you for anything~

~Hole Maker~

~the silent tears unanswered
filling the ship evermore

~there must be another bucket
somewhere
somehow
Miss Redhead